Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate
by the morrighan
Summary: My version of a season six. This is the tenth story.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate

_John Sheppard._

_I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my thoughts every day and every night. I found myself going over every detail of every brief encounter. I found myself going over every detail of that handsome man: the wayward dark brown hair and the sexy sideburns with a hint of grey. The elfish ears were unique to him. The handsome face composed of a strong jaw line shadowed by a hint, just a hint of stubble. Sometimes more. Those green, green eyes conveyed a host of complex emotions just beneath the surface. Those perfect, perfect lips formed a perfect Cupid's bow of a mouth. That luscious lower lip and darting tongue were enchanting. That long neck. The broad shoulders and muscles of his arms and torso hidden under the black shirts that he wore now were enticing. _

_The sleeves always rolled up to reveal the dark body hair. Sometimes he wore a woven shirt unbuttoned just enough for a teasing glimpse of chest hair. That long, lean, muscled body as he moved with that confident swagger, a slow saunter or a quick stride on those long, long legs. The black pants were not as molded to his form as the grey one had been, but they were still very flattering. He was attractive both coming and going, from every angle._

_Of course I knew I didn't stand a chance with him. What would a man like that ever see in me, Moira O'Meara, a plain paleontologist and evolutionary biologist?_

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John grabbed a tray, grunted as it was filled with food. Until he had his first cup of coffee he wasn't much of a conversationalist, not that he ever was. He moved along the line, gaze darting everywhere, noting scientists and marines, technicians and medics. Teyla Emmagan was sitting with her husband Kanaan and their little boy Torren. Ronon Dex was sitting with Amelia Banks. He had been doing that a lot recently, ever since they had returned from Earth. Rodney McKay was still in line but quietly talking to the botanist Katie Brown. It pleased John to see his friend emerging from his mourning to talk with a woman that better suited him.

John sat. He drank some coffee and began to eat his breakfast. He let his gaze rest on Carson Beckett and Alison Porter as they sat together, talking and smiling. Every one of his friends seemed to be paired with someone, and although that pleased him to see his friends happy it also underscored his own solitary existence. It had never really bothered him since he had his friends and his work which took up most of his time.

He had enjoyed the occasional romantic or sexual dalliance and that suited him much better than any long-term relationship. But now as he sat alone, watching his friends as they formed ties to possibly significant others he felt the aloofness and the loneliness of his position, his job, his personality.

His life.

He spotted Ann Teldy as she joined a few other female marines at a table. As usual she was in uniform, impeccably dressed, her blond hair tidily captured in a bun. She had a serious expression on her pretty face as she spoke. She always looked serious. John had never caught her in some embarrassing situation, or ever heard her mumble her words or stammer. She was very good at her job and respected by her colleagues. She had several friends in the city. She was a very lovely woman, and he speculated what she would be like if she let her hair down, literally and figuratively.

"You should go talk to her."

"Huh?" John looked up at the interruption. Teyla smiled, joining him. She was clad in some Athosian garments, a long light coat over a snug tunic and leggings although her husband was wearing a bland Atlantis technician's uniform.

"You should go talk to her, John," Teyla repeated. "I understand that there are some military protocols that may prevent you but I am certain you can get around them. You always say that things are different out here in Pegasus."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"You mean Ann, er, Teldy?" he asked, although his stare had been patently obvious. As had his thoughts, apparently. To John's chagrin little escaped the Athosian woman's notice.

Teyla's smile broadened at his sudden discomfort. "Yes, John."

"Ask her out." Ronon's voice was firm as he joined them. He exchanged an amused glance with Teyla. The Satedan was clad in leather, a sleeveless tunic and pants, weapons at his back and hip although there was no scheduled mission. He was rarely without his weapons, ever since his serious injury. An injury he still refused to discuss.

John shifted in his chair, uncomfortable. He drank some coffee, ate a few bites of his pancake. Syrup stained his lips until he licked them. "Why?"

"Because you like her, obviously," Ronon snorted with an eye roll for good measure. "She'd be good for you."

"Since when is my love life or the lack of one a concern to both of you?" John snapped. He stabbed his egg with his fork. Yolk spurted like blood.

"Since we're your friends," Rodney said, joining them. He set a very full tray onto the table. "You're talking about Ann, right? Yes, I do think she would be good for you, John. And never mind the fact that you can't date her because you're her commanding officer and all of that, you can easily get round that by having her reassigned or something, right? You always say that things are different out here in Pegasus. Ask her out!" he urged round a mouthful of waffles.

"That's what I just said," Ronon agreed with a nod.

"Surely you could get round any rules that may prevent you, as Rodney suggested," Teyla urged. She glanced at her son as the baby began to fuss, squirming in his father's arms.

John put down his fork, glaring at his friends and their smiles. "Enough! I'm not having this conversation, all right? What I do in my private life is private, get it?"

"Of course, John. We just want to help. You are bold in other ventures, but this one thing seems to elude you," Teyla commented with a sly smile, turning back to him.

"Unless it concerns ascended women," Rodney jested with a grin.

"Ask her out," Ronon repeated. His gaze darted to Amelia for a moment. The auburn-haired woman was smiling, patiently awaiting his return.

"Are we dispensing advice to our lovelorn colonel now?" Carson asked, joining them. "About bloody time! Who is the lucky woman?"

"Or unlucky one," Rodney snorted, but yelped as Teyla elbowed him.

"Ann Teldy," Ronon informed.

Everyone's gaze traveled to the blond woman. She was oblivious, talking in serious tones to the women sitting with her. A frown marred her features, making her appear even more serious and stern, blond brows furrowed above her blue eyes.

"I'm not asking her out!" John insisted, voice low, drawing their gazes back to him.

"Och, you're right there, John. She's not the one you want, obviously. You should ask Moira out instead."

"Who?" Rodney asked.

"Doctor O'Meara, the paleontologist."

"Evolutionary biologist, and no," John said, eying his food. He grabbed a piece of toast and dunked it into the spilling egg yolk. He sloppily ate it then wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"I agree with you, Sheppard. Teldy's more your type," Ronon stated.

"And I agree with Ronon on this one," Rodney endorsed, waving his empty fork in the air for emphasis. "O'Meara? A scientist? With him? No way!"

"Perhaps it would be more exciting than dating a military woman," Teyla pondered. She was scrutinizing John as he tried to finish his breakfast without squirming in his seat. Her gaze flitted to Ann, then back to John as she tried to imagine them together on a date.

"He likes Teldy well enough but he is more attracted to O'Meara," Carson surmised. He glanced over to see Alison giving him a brief wave as she left to return to work. He acknowledged her with a quick smile.

"But Teldy would suit him better," Rodney argued. "Both being military and all. They both speak that language. Just like I am better suited to scientists," he argued, glancing up to see Katie finishing her breakfast. A shadow of grief came and went, a shadow of guilt as the memory of Jennifer Keller flitted and was gone.

"There are rules against fraternization," Carson disagreed, shaking his head. "No, O'Meara is the one he wants, the one he really wants. He wants someone different, not the same." The doctor eyed John but he was trying to finish his breakfast, trying to ignore the speculation and argument of his friends. He was trying to ignore the idea of both women entirely.

"He could get round any rules, if he so wanted," Teyla stated.

"He's done it often enough before," Ronon agreed.

"Usually he has to fend off women with a stick so I don't understand this odd reluctance to ask one out or to even go on a date. Perhaps it's the fear of rejection although to my knowledge no woman has ever rejected him before. Fends them off with a stick, remember? Although there was that time when that sexy blond scientist chick did seem to prefer me to-" Rodney began to theorize.

John swore, losing patience and losing his appetite. "Enough!" He slammed his palm on the table, making the trays jump. "I don't need a damn panel debating about my love life!"

"Or lack thereof?" Rodney quipped.

"And whom I should or should not date! Got it?" John flared, ignoring Rodney's jibe and the quiet laughter that had followed it. People were looking over at that table, having heard his outburst although it had been quiet. But not private enough as people were staring. It only made John angrier, more uncomfortable. Expletives filled his mind.

"Colonel Sheppard to the control room," a voice droned over the PA. "Colonel Sheppard to the control room," it repeated.

"Thank God!" John moved to his feet, never as thankful to have a summons interrupt him as he was at that moment. "Not another word about this! I don't have time for all of this dating nonsense anyway!" He stomped out of the cafeteria, leaving the remains of his half-eaten breakfast on the table.

His friends exchanged glances, smiles. They shared a laugh before arguing over the two women once more.


	2. Chapter 2

Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate2

_I had seen him at a distance, of course. The dashing, handsome military commander drew every eye to him. He was flirtatious and beguiling, yet also somber and serious. His voice was mellifluous, rising and falling but of late was raspier, more strained by the toll his job was taking. The loss of comrades and friends over the years was a weight on him, as were whatever inner demons haunted him._

_I don't think he ever noticed me or rather I never came to his notice until we got back from Earth. It was at Keller's funeral. He was wearing a suit, cast in monochrome tones and not his dress blues like he had at Carson's service. As military commander he had to speak but he didn't know what to say, and I felt empathy for him. When he just happened to meet my gaze I could see the grief but more striking was the guilt. Our gazes locked and it seemed that he took strength and perhaps comfort from my gaze, from me, and he found what he had to say._

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John entered the control room, still rankled by his friends and their well-meaning if annoying concerns. He loathed any intrusion into his private life, even if there was no one in his private life at the moment. "What is it?"

Richard Woolsey turned to him. The Atlantis leader appeared concerned, but calm as ever. "Hive ship. It's still quite a distance out but it's relaying a message to us. Radek's receiving it on a firewalled computer. It's encrypted."

"We need—"

"I'm here!" Rodney appeared as if in reply to John's words. The physicist slid into the chair next to Radek Zelenka. "Let me." His fingers flew across the keyboard. "It's encrypted, all right. Give me a second. It's a Wraith code but it's one we've used before to…crap."

"What is it?" Richard asked, looking over Rodney's shoulder.

"It…it's from Todd," Radek answered, as Rodney had gone very quiet. Everyone eyed the physicist as he sat, stunned into silence for a moment.

"Play it, Radek, and track that ship, Rodney," John decided. He touched the console and it purred at his touch. He hadn't consulted Richard at all, but no one seemed to notice.

Except for the city.

"On it," Radek and Rodney said at the same time. They exchanged a glance, a brief smile before turning to their respective monitors.

"What could he possibly want with us?" Richard wondered. "He must know we'll kill him on sight now."

"We're about to find out," John noted, but he was at much at a loss as was the Atlantis leader.

Todd's visage filled the monitor suddenly. It was a grainy, lined image. Nevertheless Rodney tensed as a host of emotion swept through him. "John Sheppard," Todd began, his voice purring over the name, causing John to feel a shiver up his spine, "my queen has commanded me to make contact with Atlantis. With you. We face a new enemy and only our combined forces can hope to defeat them."

"Our enemies see what our supposed allies don't," Richard quietly commented, causing John to glance at him.

"We need to meet," Todd continued. "Neutral ground. I will send you the address. We will be waiting." The screen went blank.

"Rodney?" John quietly asked.

Rodney was staring at the blank screen, but he shook himself out of his grief and anger to type. A maelstrom of emotion was hitting him, and hitting him hard but he shunted it all aside to concentrate on the matter at hand. "Got it. It's on the far edge of the galaxy. M1R298. It's a barren world with a Stargate."

"It could be a trap," Radek suggested.

"Could be…but I'm guessing not," John said.

Rodney swiveled in his chair to confront the military commander. "Are you, are you seriously considering going there and meeting with him?"

"Yes." John looked at Richard. "I'll take Reynolds and Delta squad for back-up, just in case. Give me ten to prep the team. I'll only need Ronon." He considered a moment, but as far as he could tell the Satedan was fit for active duty.

"No!" Rodney stood. "I'm going with you!"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Rodney," John tried to temporize, but his friend would not be swayed.

"Don't care. I'm going. I'll meet you at the 'Gate room!" Without another word Rodney headed out of the control room.

"Doctor McKay? Doctor McKay, I don't think you should go either! Wait!" Richard called.

"Let him," John decided. "He has a right." He held up a hand before either Richard or Radek could protest. "And I'll be there to keep him safe." He moved aside, tapped his earpiece. "Reynolds, copy? This is Colonel Sheppard. Assemble Delta and have them ready for deployment in ten. Heavy ordnance. Sheppard out."

"Colonel, are you sure about this? It very well could be a trap," Richard cautioned.

John met his gaze. "It could be, yes. In any event we will have to deal with the Wraith and their new queen eventually. It may as well be now before the fuglies make any more incursions. I'll have Lorne keep the city on stand-by in case we…" John paused. There was an awkward silence. He resumed. "I'll have Teldy keep the city on stand-by in case of a trap," he corrected quietly. "Radek, keep tracking that Hive ship. If it gets closer to Atlantis shield the city and lock down the 'Gate."

"But you'll be effectively trapped on a distant world, John," Richard said.

"I know," John agreed. "But the city will be safe. Excuse me."

The bio lab was quiet, but full of scientists all working at their stations. It was a sea of white lab coats and murmuring voices. Doctor Alan Simmons, the head of biology spotted John and headed for him, but John deftly bypassed the man and strode to the back of the lab. One of the monitors was making a quiet, persistent hum that seemed to direct him, guide him to where he wanted to go. As if the city was reading his thoughts and knew whom he wanted. A second later he spotted his quarry as Moira O'Meara stepped to the machine and stood, reading over a printout of something.

John's gaze roved over her work station, seeing the red rose in full, glorious bloom next to a pile of books and folders. Finally his gaze settled on her as she set down the printout and softly sighed. It was a sad sound, resigned and weary and it made him curious, but he had more important things on his mind at the moment. "Moira."

At his voice she almost jumped. Instead she turned to him, smiled briefly in greeting. "Colonel…er, John?" she asked as he raised a brow in playful reprimand.

"I need a Reader's Digest version of the fuglies, er, the Homo erectus aliens," he corrected to her scowl, "in about ten minutes before I leave the city, okay? Meet up with me in the conference room."

Moira nodded. "Okay, John. Where are you going?"

"To meet up with Todd…I know, long story," he said before she could question him. Surprise and concern flared in her brown eyes. "Just get me the basic facts about them and any weaknesses they might have, especially in regards to the Wraith or vice versa. My twenty will be the conference room."

"Your what?"

He smiled. "My location," he translated. "And no Latin, doctor, all right?"

She smiled. "I'll use nice, short and easy words, colonel."

"Thank you." He touched her arm a moment. "Put in anything relevant." His voice fell low, for her ears only. "This new Wraith queen is proposing a truce to fight the fuglies and I need to have the upper hand in this." He withdrew his hand.

"A…wow…okay, I will, John, don't you worry. I'll work on it right now." Her gaze darted past him to Alan, then back to John. Worry crossed her face, but she relaxed seeing John's comprehension.

He nodded, turned and headed for the man as he was making a beeline for them. "Doctor Simmons, I've got Doctor O'Meara writing up some intel for me that I will need on this mission and I need it ASAP so let her work on it, all right?" Before the man could answer John stepped past him and out of the lab.

A smile crossed his face at the other man's consternation.

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"So far it is maintaining position," Radek said, staring at the screen where a red blip represented the Hive ship. "It's in orbit around a planet, but not M1R298 where the meeting is taking place."

"What can you tell me about M1R298?" Richard asked, staring at the screen as if he could discern the motives behind this unexpected contact.

"Not much. We had one mission there years ago. It's barren, devoid of life. The original inhabitants died out before we got here but the Stargate is active and working. It had been considered for an Alpha site but its distant location and lack of any resources caused us to discount it. It's about the size of Venus with no moons or any other satellite bodies."

Richard nodded, glancing at the monitor where the facts where displayed next to the picture of a graphic of the planet. It resembled a grey marble amid the blackness of space. There were no discernible features amid the bland land mass and the bland ocean. "Could you bring up that mission report for me?

"Yes, but there's not much in it."

"Still, I would like to read it."

"Of course." Radek accessed the data, curious but he had more pressing concerns, like trying to figure out how to head off his friend from some damn avenging crusade. "Sending it to your data pad, Mr. Woosley."

"Thank you, Doctor Zelenka. Is the tracking device in Todd still transmitting?"

"Yes. I'm monitoring that as well as the Hive ship. So far both are in the same place. When he reaches the planet we will know."

"Good. Let's keep track of everything just in case."


	3. Chapter 3

Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate3

_Of course he would have to see me when I was making a fool of myself. He would just have to walk in when we just talking about him and those sexy gray pants of his. And then I had to be a fool and go on about it. And then then singing started and of course he would walk in when I was on top of the table, gyrating and singing about desire. I was so embarrassed but I think I hid it well._

_At least I like to think I did._

_John seemed to be amused by it all, and his beautiful green eyes held a modicum of interest in me, or so I made myself believe at the time. He flirted with me: the tilt of his head, the smile, the way he stood, one hand on his hip. Our words were teasing, trading sarcasm for sarcasm which I believe we both enjoyed. He seemed to enjoy the banter as much as I did. And that boyish swagger, the wink of his eye…I thought I had made an impression. Probably a bad one but at least I had made one. _

_At least he might remember me._

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"I do not understand your reasons, John. John? John! Do not ignore me!"

John was trying to do exactly that, as he adjusted his TAC vest as he stood in the armory. He had his back to Teyla but even so he could feel the Athosian's glare. He inwardly swore and finally turned to see her. She was standing near, hands on her hips, pure ire in her eyes. "This is a purely military mission," he stated firmly. Most would back down from his stern tone.

Not Teyla. "Then why is Ronon going?"

"Ronon's military, remember? Satedan military, but still military, and he assures me he can handle a mission like this."

"And Rodney?" Teyla asked, still glaring as she was not convinced.

John shrugged. "He insisted."

"Then I am insisting."

"No. He's got a dead fiancé to avenge, and I am going to make damn sure he's not the next victim! You have a child and a husband and I need you here in Atlantis in case things go south."

"Those are just excuses!"

"Those are reasons!" John argued, becoming angry. "I've made my decisions and they are final!" He turned away to procure a P9, ignoring her wrath and indignation, her concern. He reloaded a clip as she stormed out of the room, nearly crashing into Ronon on the way.

"Wow…she didn't take it well?" Ronon asked, quickly sidestepping before the Athosian woman mowed over him. He entered the armory. His big long coat flapped behind him.

"Not at all," John said gruffly.

"Maybe you should let her come."

"No."

"Okay. Your call."

"Thank you." John adjusted the safety on the gun. He turned to see Ronon checking his big gun. Underneath the long coat the Satedan was wearing a TAC vest as well, which was unusual but John didn't say a word. Instead he scowled, waiting, but the Satedan seemed engrossed in his task. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"That's all you have to say?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"I don't care what you say, John, I am going so don't try to bully me out of this!" Rodney said quickly as he entered and grabbed a TAC vest. He yanked it on, fighting with the zipper as he talked quickly. "I am on the team and have every right to go and by God I am going to go if only to keep you from some damn heroic suicidal mission because the more I think about it the more it sounds like a suicide mission or at least a trap but if I have the chance to confront that bastard Todd after what he did I will and nothing you can say will stop me!"

John and Ronon exchanged glances as at last the physicist paused to take a breath. "Okay, Rodney. Here."

"Here? Here what? A…oh." Rodney's rant stopped as he saw the gun that John was holding out to him. It was a 9mm handgun. He was at a brief loss, having marshaled a host of arguments to convince John to agree, but John had already agreed and now Rodney didn't need all those extra words. "Okay then. I think it's a wise decision not to have Teyla along, in case, you know." He took the weapon and holstered it at his thigh.

"I know. And we've got a marine squad for additional backup. Listen, Rodney, just don't go all postal on Todd until we get the intel we need, all right? I'll have Ronon restrain you if you try anything like that." It sounded like a joke, and the Satedan smiled, but John was dead serious as he watched Rodney fumble with the holster strap.

Rodney met his gaze, expecting sarcasm but instead finding solemnity. There was no mockery which both pleased and worried the physicist. "Okay, John. But don't stop me when the time comes. I have to do this. For, for Jennifer. For the city. For myself. And for you. All right?"

"All right. Just keep your emotions in check."

"I always do!" Rodney looked round. "Where the hell is my backpack? Damn it, I think I left it in the lab! And I better add some extra protein bars in case I, I mean we need them. And some chocolate 'cause you never know…" He sighed, strode out of the room.

John and Ronon exchanged a smile.

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_He saved me. I know that it cost him, to kill Lieutenant Ford, but he did it to save me. I was afraid that he would blame me for that, or resent me. There wasn't time as we had to move and get back to the others. He had wanted to see the alien. The body was gone. I could have sworn that it was dead, but I remembered feeling it move under me. At least I had the footage to review and the scant tissue samples. _

_He helped me walk as the pain in my foot was almost unbearable. I could barely support myself so he supported me, his strong arm around my waist as I held onto him. He guided me towards safety, both of us soaking wet from the rain and filthy from the muddy terrain. Both of us were injured and bloody and weary but we kept moving towards safety, towards the others. Even through the pain and the fear I reveled in the feel of being pressed up against his side, the feel of his muscles moving in tandem with mine, the warmth of his body and the strong surety of his protection._

_Until Ronon's scream momentarily paralyzed us. But worse was to come. We lost Evan Lorne that day. We lost him. He was killed by those aliens._

_When I came across John in my lab he scared the shit out of me. He was so silent in the dark. Brooding and grieving over Lorne as we all were. He felt a guilt he shouldn't have, but he did. Guilt in a long line of guilt, of deaths that he believed he had caused or could have prevented. He was telling his rosary beads but not with prayers; he was reciting the names of the fallen. So much loss, so much guilt, so much darkness encompassed him. I like to think I eased some of that for him. I like to think that my compassion and empathy restored him, if only a little. That his dark experiences would see the kinship in mine, however unspoken they were. _

_He needed information on the new alien species and I would give him everything I had. He could rely on me and I would be his go-to scientist for that sort of thing and for anything that he needed. He was kind, relaxing with me in that lab. It was just the two of us, two lonely souls in that city. And he did like the beer. A lot. And when I stumbled and stammered and my own emotions rose to the surface in my inept apology he was there for me. He hugged me. It should have been awkward, but it wasn't. The feel of his strong arms around me, the feel of our bodies pressed together, the long, lean lines of him, the warmth and the strength. The gratitude and the comfort he freely gave me without my asking. Wordless. _

_It was wonderful._

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John shut the door behind him, an unusual thing in itself, but it was the gravity on his face that made Richard move to his feet. The Atlantis leader moved round his desk, adjusting his glasses as he looked at the military commander. John was decked out for the mission, entirely in black with a TAC vest that appeared both daunting and formidable. He held a P90. "Contingency."

"Excuse me?" Richard asked, then realized. "In case you don't come back?"

John nodded. "It's all in the file. Well, I need to revise it since Lorne's not…anyway it's all there in case I don't make it back."

"It sounds like you're not planning to make it back…you…no. John, you can't."

John shrugged. "It's the only way to really find out what's going on with the Wraith. If a chance presents itself I will go with Todd to meet this queen. Like it or not they are our best bet against these new guys. The enemy of our enemy, you know."

"No. I can't let you take that risk! We can ally with the Coalition and convince the Genii to—"

"They're useless and we both know it. Apart from us only the Wraith have the technology that might have a chance against these new guys. If we have to go to bed with the Devil in order to save Atlantis then that's what we have to do. What I have to do. At least with Todd we have a known variable. Rodney can keep track of me once he's back in the city…and the city will as well."

"In that case you need to take a Jumper to—"

"No. No one knows about this except us, and I am keeping it that way."

"You won't be able to get back to Atlantis."

"Perhaps not, but I think that I will. If they want our help they will let me go…eventually." John suppressed the dark doubts in his mind. "As I said, the contingency plans are in there in case I don't make it back. The city…um, the city will go along with this. Just keep Beckett here because he can access the Ancient Chair if it becomes necessary."

"The city will…" Richard shook his head, baffled, but deciding not to question. He stepped to John. "If you truly believe this is the right course of action I won't try to talk you out of it."

"Thank you."

"Or as much as I disagree. We know next to nothing about this new queen and who knows what her agenda could be. Once the fug…the new aliens are eliminated as a threat the Wraith will turn back to us."

"Just like old times," John agreed. "For now let's tackle one alien threat at a time. There is to be no extraordinary actions taken if I don't make it back. I will make damn sure everyone else does."

"I understand, colonel. But I hope that it doesn't come to that." Richard held out his hand. "Good luck, colonel."

John took the other man's hand and shook it. "Good luck to us all."


	4. Chapter 4

Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate4

_I summoned up the courage to approach him. It was like a giant hand pushed me and there I was, walking up to him and talking. I needed to show him the report he had requested. Info on the new species. I was afraid he would reject it or me, or harbor lingering resentment or blame for Lorne's death, Ford's death. But he listened to me. He paid attention even to all of the science and he noted the details once I pointed them out to him. Even when I wandered off-topic he seemed genuinely interested in me, in what I had to say, in what I did. He seemed to appreciate all of the work I had put into it, all the time. And he seemed to relax with me again. He talked freely, maybe a little too freely but it was as if we were old friends and could talk that way. He took the time to see what I had done for him and he appreciated it._

_It was awkward, talking to him about the symbol in front of everyone but I somehow managed it and he gave me his full attention. He even came to my defense during an argument with a fellow scientist although no defense was needed. He seemed to value my opinion and actually wanted to hear what I had to say._

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John strode to the conference room, entered and waited, glancing at the table. He set down his P90 and folded his arms across his chest. Data pads were left unattended after a hasty meeting. He couldn't keep still. He began to pace around the room, restless, mind full of questions, concerns, going over every little detail of the mission. He pondered what to expect, trying to anticipate what would happen.

He didn't really believe this would be his last mission. Of course that possibility existed with every mission, but he had never gone into one believing it. Until now. He knew there was a very distinct possibility he would end up on the Hive ship, which was part of his plan, but he really wasn't that keen to go. Still he would do it for the city, to protect the city and its inhabitants.

It's not like anyone was waiting for him to return anyway.

He paced, paced, unfolding his arms to clasp his hands behind his back. Decisions were gnawing at him. Losses were always haunting him. There was a weird fission in the air, as if the city could sense his underlying anxiety and sympathized with him. It was fission only John could sense, he knew. He stopped pacing. Tapped his earpiece and said quietly, "Chuck, page Major Teldy to the conference room." After the acknowledgement he resumed his pacing.

He knew that Reynolds and his team would obey his orders to the letter. Ronon would be the one who would have to be restrained and now Rodney as well. John had never had to worry about the physicist becoming violent or homicidal, but with Todd in the picture that was a very real possibility. He knew he could trust Ronon to watch their backs while John made sure that Rodney didn't inadvertently ruin the mission or get himself injured, or worse.

He wondered if he should bring along a lemon to hinder his friend.

John kept glancing at the open doorway, wondering when Moira would appear with the intel he needed. He had noted her concern, her alarm, both washing over him like a wave from her brown eyes. He smiled briefly, thinking of her but he stopped again, turning his mind back to the mission.

Todd was an enigma all in himself. He could never be trusted but he was a sort of liaison with the Wraith. And any intel on this new queen was worth any risk. Once the fuglies were eliminated the Wraith would be the next target. John paused, touching the wall for a moment. The city seemed to purr in response, in agreement. And then the Coalition would be brought to heel, and the Genii would be eliminated.

John shook his head at the odd idea, but he didn't quite dismiss it. Why not remove another thorn in the galaxy while he was busy pruning? He freed the wall, flexing his fingers. They were warm, as if he had been touching something warm. The wall wasn't warm. He eyed it a moment, but no answers were on the pleasing blue structure. He stared hard at it. For a second, a mere split second he could have sworn he had heard a voice, a whispering that was almost lost in the quiet of the room.

As if the city was trying to talk to him with actual words instead of emotions.

Ann Teldy entered the room and paused, seeing the military commander frozen in place, frozen in thought. A very pensive look was on his handsome face and she was loath to intrude. She took the opportunity to let her gaze wander over him, not as a member of the military but as a woman. He was stunning in his seriousness, all in black like some vengeful harbinger bringing doom to their enemies. His green gaze was as hard as diamonds as he stared intensely at the wall. "Colonel Sheppard? You wanted to see me?" she finally ventured.

Ann's quiet voice interrupted his thoughts and John looked at her. "Yes, Major Teldy." He gestured for her to step closer to him as he stood near one end of the table. "While I am gone I am placing you in charge of the city at least in its military aspects as required. And as Woolsey sees fit."

Ann's blue eyes widened in surprise but her voice was calm. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me, Ann," he said, a brief smile appearing. "It's a thankless job. Normally I'd give it to Reynolds but he's going with me on the op."

"I'll do my best, sir."

"I know that you will." He paused, became somber. "There's a good chance we might be cut off from the 'Gate, or captured, or worse. I want you to be absolutely clear on this: your priority is the safety of this city and its populace. Do not attempt any kind of search and rescue, should it come to that. That is a direct order."

Ann swallowed, trying to remain calm, to quell her surprise and her worry. Dozens of arguments came to her mind but she silenced them all. "Yes, sir."

John nodded. "Have Radek keep monitoring that Hive ship. If it changes course or heads for Atlantis cloak the city. Engage the emergency protocols as a last resort. Keep trying to contact Earth as well. And keep tracking the fuglies. McKay's got a program in place for that. Designate Teyla as your second if the city's security is compromised in any way. If you need a strong ATA carrier for whatever reason to defend the city or to power up the systems use Beckett. Or O'Meara. Her ATA is strong as well. And if you need intel on the fuglies go to O'Meara. She's on top of that. Woolsey's been apprised on this so don't worry."

"Yes, sir." Ann frowned. She touched his arm, concern softening her features. "John…it sounds like you don't…you don't expect to return from his mission."

John shrugged. "To be honest…I don't."

"Then why go? Why take the risk?"

"For Atlantis," he answered simply. "For everyone here. We're up against an enemy we don't understand and know very little about. If we have to ally ourselves with an enemy who we do understand and do know and who can help us defeat them so be it."

"And if this is a ruse? Word gets round," she explained to his questioning gaze.

"Then at least Atlantis will be safe. If that ship gets too close eliminate it. Those are my orders."

"John…if you're aboard it or…"

"I know. Those are my orders."

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"It is unconscionable! There is no reason for me to be excluded from this mission! I have as much as right as Rodney does, as Ronon does! He excludes me because I am a woman! He pretends his reasons are more about you and Torren but I know the truth! What does he expect me to do? Sit here and wait for him while he risks his life, while my friends risk their lives? I have as much as a right to be there as any of them, as any man!"

Kanaan watched his wife as she circled the room, circled the room, bouncing baby Torren in her arms as the infant gurgled happily after his meal. Wisely Kanaan waited until Teyla had vented her frustration and anger before answering. "Indeed you do, my love, and Sheppard knows that. But he also knows you have a family here now."

Teyla glared at her husband, gently patting the baby's back as she held him at her shoulder. "You too? You would deny me the right to—"

"No, not me. He would." He pointed at his son. The baby gurgled as if in confirmation then burped to further his opinion. His parents briefly smiled.

Teyla sighed. She kissed the happy baby's rosy cheek, circled again as she bounced him. "I know that you are right. Perhaps even John is right in this, but I do not like it. This mission is crucial to all of us, and the Wraith are not to be trusted. Sometimes I think the ones from Earth do not fully realize this."

"They do not," Kanaan agreed. "They have never lived under the shadow of the Wraith, as we have. As have our ancestors. They see the human side of the Wraith and think they can reason with that. We, however, have seen the monster lurking underneath that façade, and will never be fooled by them no matter how much they may try to act like us."

Teyla smiled, stopping to view her husband as he sat on the bed. "I could not have put it better, my love. I should go with them."

"Ronon is with them. He will not be fooled by any Wraith tricks or beguilements."

"True. If…if something happens…I would feel guilty if I was not there. Yet…I must not be as reckless as I once was. I must think of Torren now…and you."

Kanann nodded. "You were never reckless, Teyla, but yes, you must think of us now. I would never stop you from going on missions. I only would ask you to consider each one carefully."

Teyla circled, circled. "I can do that. I just wish…I…" She was torn between the needs of her family, her child, and the needs of her team, her friends. She sat next to her husband. "I feel there is more going on than I have been told. John's demeanor was…different. We have faced danger many times, but this…there is something more and he will not divulge it."

"You think they will try to recapture Todd? Or even try to create another Michael?"

"I do not know. I do not believe they would ever try to replicate that experiment again." She felt an involuntary shudder, recalling Michael and all that he had put her through, had put everyone through until at last she had managed to end his life and the threat he posed. She cuddled her baby closer. "Todd is another matter. They may try to capture him…but Rodney would most surely vehemently object."

"Do you think that Rodney will try to kill Todd?"

"I would not put it past him. And I would not blame him if he did. However, I think that John wants Todd alive as a useful pawn or contact. I do not know! The man is keeping his agenda a secret, even from me!" she flared.

"Perhaps he is, but if he chooses not to tell you then you must trust him. There is little you can do."

"I know…and that is the most frustrating thing of all."


	5. Chapter 5

Stargate Atlantis: Devil's Advocate5

_I saw him in the conference room. I had to see him again before he left. Rumors were flying all over the city about this mission, and none of them were good. I only knew what he had told me, about meeting Todd and possibly forging a temporary alliance. Both were things that the general populace did not know, but which I knew because he had confided in me. I clutched a piece of paper in my hands. It was the report he had requested, succinct and concise. It was a flimsy excuse to see him but it would serve its purpose; moreover I could elucidate specific points and thus gain more time with him before he left. It was a brief summation of the new species, and he might even read it this time. _

_I climbed the stairs, anxious, elate. Going over and over in my head what I would say and how to say it; trying to anticipate his responses and thus have my own responses ready. I needed to be prepared to answer any kind of question that he would ask. I needed to both impress him and keep my wits about me so as to not appear like a fool._

_I needed a few moments with him before he left._

_A few private moments._

_Only a few._

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Moira stood poised near the conference room. She hesitated, seeing that John wasn't alone. She turned, uncertain and gazed upon a data pad that was open and sitting on a wheeled cart. It was among other data pads that needed to be serviced, Moira's among them. She saw her rose on the cart as well. The flower was doing poorly and needed some sunlight instead of the city's artificial illumination.

She gazed upon the data pad's screen. John's handsome face was reflected there, expression drawn in serious lines, full lips pursed and solemn. His face was somewhat in shadow as the screen wasn't as reflective as a true mirror.

She watched him start to speak. It was like watching a silent movie and she found herself entranced by the reflection of the motion of his lips, his mouth, and the gesture of his hand in the air. This reflected version of John that could be saying anything, that could be talking to her from the screen. She could imagine him saying whatever she desired him to say. She could imagine him doing whatever she desired him to do.

A technician took hold of the cart, wanting to move it but wondering what the scientist was staring at so avidly.

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Ann shook her head. "No. With due respect, sir, I can't. I can't do that, John," she said, dropping the military stance and letting her softer side take control. "If there is even a remote chance that you—"

"No. You have your orders, Ann," John refuted as she stepped closer to him. "Don't let emotions, or, or feelings color what you must do to protect the city," he reprimanded, as her emotions were all too clear in her blue eyes as she faced him. They were all too clear as she touched his arm, as she stepped closer. "You must protect Atlantis at all costs. Things may not go south but if they do I expect you to follow my direct orders."

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Moira chided herself for this sudden shyness and uncertainty. She noticed the waiting technician and sheepishly shrugged. She left the web, she left the loom. She made three paces through the room. Moira paced, paced then entered the conference room, turning from the reflection to see the reality. She turned from the mirrored image to see the real one.

She turned from the shadowed image to see the one bathed in light.

To hear what he was really saying. To see what he was really doing.

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Ann shook her head slowly, her fingers playing up his arm. "I…I'm not ready to say goodbye, John," she admitted softly, seriously.

"Nor am I," he admitted.

Ann hugged him. "John." There was so much that she wanted to say, but couldn't. Instead she hugged him, letting that speak for her, for the things she couldn't say, for the things she was afraid to say. She held onto him and let the intimacy speak for her.

She let it speak for them both.

John returned the hug, awkwardly at first, thrown off-guard by the unexpected gesture. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it, how to interpret it. He wasn't very good at these kind of things and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about this.

He stepped back but Ann stepped with him and slid her lips across his.

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There was a crash behind Moira as the technician had wheeled the cart into a wall. She scarcely heard it as her heart cracked in response to what she was seeing. The mirror cracked from side to side. "The curse is come upon me," cried the Lady of Shalott. Moira's soft voice was lost amid the sudden realization of her own foolishness, the sudden death of the chimera; the web of an imagined relationship that she now saw had never even really been there. The cold wash of reality drowned any small aspirations she may have had about the dashing military commander. The loom of illusions were unthreading and dissolving with a single breath, a single look.

A single kiss.

Moira dropped the paper she had been holding. It fluttered to the floor, a mere whisper on the air as it settled into the shadows. She backed away, away, and left the room. She turned and headed down the hallway, down the stairs.

Neither John nor Ann had noted her arrival, or her departure.

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John returned the kiss, his arms sliding around Ann's waist. She felt warm, solid and pliable as her mouth joined with his. He briefly wondered what it would be like if their bodies joined as intimately and he drew her close. He freed her to step back from her, gaze assessing even as the display of emotion was both unsettling and intriguing. "Leave the porch light on for me, major," he said gruffly, drawing back into himself.

Ann smiled. She was startled by her own bold actions and welcomed the return to a more formal interaction, even as her lips danced with the taste of his, even as her body yearned for the feel of his again. "Yes, sir, I will. Just get back here in one piece, sir."

"That's my plan." John turned to the table and lifted his P90. He turned back to see Ann leaving, understanding the unsaid dismissal. He watched her leave, noting the motion of her body under the plain uniform, the confident stride and the always present perfect bun of blond hair at the back of her head. He began to head towards the doorway.

He paused. There was a piece of paper lying on the floor, almost forgotten in the corner where the shadows crossed over it. He snatched the piece of paper off the floor. He perused it, realizing what it was and who had brought it.

He stepped out of the conference room, brow furrowed, but Moira was nowhere to be seen. He wondered a moment, speculating. Carefully he folded up the piece of paper and stuck it into a pocket of his TAC vest, planning to read it thoroughly later.

He glanced at the floor where pieces of a crashed monitor littered, the shards of glass glinting. There was a rose among the debris. It was a wilting rose, red petals folded closed, drooping and forlorn. John looked round again but the evolutionary biologist was not there.

He stepped round the debris, round the broken mirror and the wilting rose.

He stepped round his own conflicting emotions, effectively bottling them.

He headed for the 'Gate room, resolute.


End file.
